Live happily

WHETHER YOU'RE BREAKING UP, SLIMMING DOWN OR JUST TRYING TO KEEP YOUR BALANCE, IT'S EASIER TO GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM YOUR FRIENDS... 

... TO SWAP JOBS

Career change - it sounds good in theory, but let the little voices in your head start talking and suddenly it sounds like a bad idea. The process of change elicits feelings of vulnerability and inadequacy, and while these feelings are normal, if we pay them too much attention we risk destroying our plans.

Change is both exciting and daunting, and that when we confront setbacks, our confidence and motivation dips. "A well-chosen support network helps us to continue moving ahead despite our sometimes flagging motivation, by providing practical advice, optimistic support, mentoring, comfort and encouragement."

There are three kinds of people you should never recruit for your personal cheer squad: "People who have a track record of giving unhelpful advice; people who have a tendency to become overly worried about you -their advice may be tailored towards reducing their own anxiety, rather than towards your personal growth; and people who fail to learn from their own mistakes."

... TO LOSE WEIGHT

Do you want a sure-fire way to lose weight and stay fit and healthy? Research has found that women who have a support network when trying to lose weight are far more successful at doing so than women who do it on their own.

A good support network will motivate you when you're tired or lazy, encourage you when you're hesitant to try a new exercise, push you lo go just dial little bit further, and cheer for you when you achieve your goals.

But, picking the right support network can make all the difference. A support network should consist of people who do just that: support. Keeping fit and active is challenging for women of all fitness levels, so it's very important that people who encourage you — as well as gently push you - surround you. Look for like-minded people with similar goals. Avoid people who are jealous or likely to sabotage your exercise efforts. 

... TO CALM DOWN

Everyone feels stress at some point in their lives. It's completely natural and normal - so don't stress about it!

A little bit of stress in our lives can be beneficial. Stress is helpful when it increases our ability to be alert, energized, switched on and resourceful in facing challenges we enjoy or have to deal with. This could mean anything from cooking a dinner party for ten people to dealing with large family gatherings.

However, stress can be negative when it leaves us feeling fatigued, tense, anxious, burnt-out or overwhelmed. Some of the key signs to being stressed include withdrawing from relationships and things you'd normally enjoy, having trouble eating or sleeping, experiencing aches or pains, and feeling that you're not able to cope.

Keep your stress levels in check by talking to someone - this could be a trusted friend, your GP or a counselor - as talking helps work through negative feelings.

... TO SURVIVE A BREAK UP

A break-up with your partner - no matter who did the dumping - can result in strong feelings of loss and grief. It's now' that you really need to call in the big guns of your support network. The best way to overcome these feelings is to surround yourself with people who care for you. Often your self-esteem takes a bashing with a break-up, and your network can remind YOU of your great, desirable qualities.

Good people to be around are friends that have experienced a break-up and are now thriving. Steer clear of your ex and his cheer squad. It's nonsense to think you can be friends while you get over him. You don't want his parents or friends telling you about his new girlfriend, or that he's still crying over the break-up.

On the more serious side of things, constantly struggling and not coping after a break-up can lead to depression, and without a supportive network that consists of family, friends and even a psychologist, it can get out of hand.

... TO JUST LEND A HAND

"Women find it very hard to ask for help". And "We may fear rejection, or hearing that friends and family don't care enough, or are too busy."

We dislike the feelings of vulnerability that come with asking for help. We dislike exposing our fears to other people.

This is why having an expert on your team is important. Whether it's a doctor, counselor, exercise coach or psychologist, they'll be able to offer qualified, unbiased advice and give you strategies to cope through tougher times - which will always include enlisting the help of good friends and family to cheer you on.